When “Not a Big Deal” Becomes a Big Problem
How dismissing small misconduct or performance concerns early can snowball.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“They didn’t mean it.”
“She’s new. Give her time.”
“He’s under pressure right now.”
Leaders often say these things with good intentions. They want to be fair, avoid overreacting, or give someone the benefit of the doubt. But when early warning signs are repeatedly dismissed, a pattern begins to emerge that can corrode a team’s culture.
The Slow Build of a Big Problem
Most toxic cultures don’t begin with a major scandal. They begin with a blind eye.
It might be the employee who speaks to colleagues in a condescending tone. A high performer who cuts corners and makes others pick up the slack. A manager who rolls their eyes when questioned or routinely misses one-on-ones. These behaviors may seem minor, especially when the person is otherwise getting results.
But when no one addresses them, they’re rarely one-time events. Left unchecked, they tend to repeat, maybe even escalate. Eventually, they start to shape what people believe is tolerated.
At one organization, a senior leader frequently commented on appearance of junior women. He noted how they dressed, their hair, and makeup. There was a stark power imbalance, he held influence over assignments and advancement, and it was widely understood that his behavior had to be tolerated.
When concerns were brought to leadership, their response was dismissive: “It’s not a big deal. He’s just being friendly.”
Nothing was done.
Months later, the same leader crossed a more definitive line. By then, trust had eroded, and the organization faced a much bigger problem, one that could have been prevented if they had acted earlier.
The Cost of Minimizing
When leaders downplay early issues, the risks grow:
Signals get crossed. Employees don’t know what the real expectations are, especially if standards seem to shift based on who is involved.
Frustration builds. Teammates notice when someone gets away with bad behavior. It creates resentment and disengagement.
The stakes get higher. What could have been a quick coaching moment becomes a chronic issue that is harder to fix.
Trust erodes. People stop reporting concerns when they believe nothing will be done.
By the time a leader finally intervenes, the damage is often done, not just to the individual, but to the team dynamic.
A Better Approach: Intervene Early, Even Gently
Addressing concerns early and having a conversation while the stakes are still low is course correction, not confrontation.
This might look like:
Asking clarifying questions: “I noticed the team looked uncomfortable in that meeting, how do you think it went?”
Naming the behavior, not the person: “Comments about personal appearance can undermine trust. That’s not appropriate in our workplace.”
Offering support while reinforcing expectations: “If you’re trying to build rapport, there are more appropriate ways to connect, let’s talk through it.”
These early moments aren’t confrontations. They’re course corrections. And they’re much easier to manage than a full-blown investigation or team implosion months later.
Culture is Built in the Small Moments
Leadership isn’t just about what you say in town halls or strategy meetings. It’s about what you tolerate in the day-to-day. Every time you let something slide because it’s “not a big deal,” you send a message about what matters and what doesn’t.
Over time, those messages build your culture. Make sure it’s one your employees believe in and want to be part of.
Want support navigating early warning signs or chronic behavior patterns in your team?
Faro Point Consulting helps organizations address misconduct and performance issues with clarity, discretion, and structure. Learn more about our approach.
