From the Exam Room to the Executive Office: Why Communication Style Matters
The way someone delivers a message, especially when they hold power, can matter more than the message itself.
Here’s an example, one that just happened to me. At a recent appointment, a technician asked if I wanted an optional scan, something not covered by insurance. I declined. The doctor, new to the practice, conducted the appointment without issue until the very end, when he told me I had to choose between the scan or a more traditional alternative that had not been offered by the technician. Opting out entirely was "not possible," he said, because his "reputation was on the line" and I needed a prescription.
What had been framed as optional was suddenly non-negotiable. There was no explanation and certainly no forwarning at the beginning of the appointment. Just a demand delivered with pressure.
I was caught off guard, and I conceded. Looking back, I wish wholeheartedly that I had stood my ground. But as many of us know, being caught off guard can cause you to agree to things you would not expect, especially when the message comes from someone in a position of power.
What This Reveals About Power and Style
This interaction highlights how misaligned communication can erode confidence and turn a routine moment into a negative one. The doctor may have had valid reasons, but he did not explain them up front. He contradicted his own team by making it mandatory and disregarded the decision I had already made.
Instead of focusing on thoughtful care, he focused on protecting his reputation. Ironically, that is exactly what the interaction put at risk.
Why This Matters to Leaders
This was not a workplace setting, but the same dynamic shows up across many organizations. The details may differ, but the impact is the same.
These moments may seem small, but they can point to a larger pattern:
Leaders who hold positional authority and do not explain their decisions, treating power as justification instead of responsibility for fostering communication, trust, and transparency
Decisions presented as choices, when they are not
Honest feedback is requested, but leaders are ill-equipped to give it or receive it
Accountability is demanded, but not modeled
The result is a workplace where people grow quiet to protect themselves. People leave. Or, in my example, I elevated my concerns to the managing partner.
In Difficult Conversations, Style Is as Important as Substance
Skilled communicators do a few things differently:
They lead with confidence grounded in experience, not arrogance or ego
They do not confuse authority with entitlement
They clarify expectations up front
They listen to concerns and provide context for their decisions
They manage their tone and choose their words carefully
For many years, I worked closely with a leader who exemplified this. Even when delivering the hardest feedback, she did it with such a high level of emotional intelligence that people left the conversation feeling respected, motivated, and clear on the path forward. She did not avoid difficult conversations. In fact, she was often the first to speak up when something needed to be addressed. But she never let her empathy slip. Do not mistake her style for being soft. It was not. It was steady, principled, and had one of the most sophisticated leadership styles I have witnessed in my career. She understood what too many overlook: leadership is not just about making decisions. What matters most are the choices you make in critical moments. Her choices are why she remains a beloved leader and a mentor to so many.
At Faro Point Consulting, we help organizations strengthen their leadership culture through training, practical frameworks, and support for difficult conversations. Whether the setting is a performance review, a client conversation, or a compliance issue, how someone carries themselves matters.
Because in the end, a person’s reputation is not shaped by their credentials and titles. It is shaped by their behavior.
